‘The Traitors’ Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: “Nail In A Coffin”

Before we get into the thick of episode 3 of The Traitors, I need to address the elephant in the room. That elephant is the fact that Danielle Reyes mistakenly believes she’s a good actress. The woman thinks that she’s convincing everyone in the cast that she’s a fellow Faithful, but in being so very chatty and theorizing so much, it’s just. so. suspicious. I never thought there would be a circumstance where I’m grateful for Boston Rob, but at least he’s able to see Danielle’s bad acting for what it is and, at least in his confessional, he calls it out.

It’s not as if Bob the Drag Queen or Carolyn Wiger are really any less conspicuous, they’re both crying and accusing people in ways that are not so subtle. But Danielle’s performance is definitely going to get her in trouble.

When episode 3 begins, Boston Rob has joined Bob, Carolyn and Danielle in the turret and shocked them all with the news that he’s also a Traitor. (“Boston Rob!? No one wants you here,” Carolyn says, and Danielle adds, “Better to have this man on your side than against you.” But… isn’t it true that the only side that Boston Rob is on is Boston Rob’s.) There’s already trouble in the turret though when Bob refuses to consider murdering anyone but a Housewife. “I will hear no other answers,” he says after suggesting they kill Chanel Ayan, who has done nothing to deserve such a fate, but that’s exactly the point. Bob wants to create chaos and confusion with their pick, something everyone else is uncomfortable with. Though they consider getting rid of Tom Sandoval and Dolores Catania, the ultimately decide on Ayan. (“A Real Housewife of Du-Bye Bye,” Alan declares.)

Carolyn is not happy about the decision, stating that she “has always been like, that turd on the wall” that no one listens to. “But this turd will get to the end,” she adds.

At breakfast, as the cast waits to see who doesn’t show, Danielle explains, “This is Rob’s first breakfast. It’s time to act our asses off. Follow Queen Traitor.” But Danielle’s acting is less Oscar, more Razzie, and her melodramatic, emotional ranting about who she thinks will be murdered is so frantic that you can tell Rob isn’t thrilled he’s in her Traitor company, and Jeremy becomes suspicious of her.

This episode’s challenge is like a whimsical, diabolical carnival game where the contestants have to get through a series of doors holding balloons. If they choose the wrong door, a murderous clown with a knife will pop their balloon and their chances of increasing the prize pot. The gang fails and doesn’t add any money to their pot, mostly because, as Big Brother Britney explains, part of the challenge involves the team describing the correct and incorrect doors to each other, and yet, simply explaining the colors and patterns on the door eludes them. “It’s akin to being in a kindergarten classroom and it’s the week the we’re learning all the different shapes. And we’ve also like, freshly learned our colors but we’re still not 100% sure,” Britney says astutely. The end result is a lot of popped balloons and zero cash won.

Tension is high during the challenge not just because everyone is so bad at it but because once again, none of the men step forward to go first. Only the pair of competitors who makes it through the entire course will get immunity, so going later in the challenge is an advantage, but with only the women volunteering to go first, Bob Harper becomes furious and takes his anger out on Tony Vlachos. He shames Tony and his partner, Nikki Garcia, into going first, which sets the two men up as adversaries at the Round Table later on.

Also at risk at the Round Table is Bob the Drag Queen. Dylan Efron, too smart and too pure for this world, correctly wants to call out Bob as a Traitor, but when he tells Jeremy this later that day, Jeremy runs and tells Bob. I honestly would have thought that Jeremy, gamer that he is, would be more tactical than this, but he immediately runs to tell Bob this, and Bob goes off. How is it that no one realizes that none of these people should be trusted? There are still more than 20 people in the game, but there is no way anyone can truly know who is lying.

At the round table, Dylan proposes his theory that Bob is a Traitor and… it doesn’t go great for him. Initially, he posits that Bob or Robyn Dixon could be Traitors, but attention turns more seriously to Bob who is not going to let his name be (correctly) besmirched. Analogies about putting puzzles together and then gluing them and hanging them on a wall are made, and then Bob declares that Dylan’s drag name should be Miss Guided (surely this castle has a library that’s open for reading?). Rob, in an attempt to deflect attention away from Bob and use some of his influence, then speaks up to accuse Tony of maybe being a Traitor. The maybe part is key to his strategy. Is Rob a genius manipulator? Simply an intimidating force? Whatever he is, it works because by simply saying, “I didn’t think you were a Traitor, but I don’t know,” he proves just how much influence he has, even when he’s not stating anything definitively, and Tony is banished by an overwhelming majority.

In the Circle of Truth, Tony reveals that he’s a Faithful, to everyone’s shock, pointing a finger at Rob to say, “You’re a sellout, bro.” But is he, or is he just literally sticking to his brand?

This episode, there is no one player to be murdered, instead, Alan gives the Traitors a new directive. This time, they have to create a shortlist of three players whose names will be written on a scroll and left out for all to find in the castle, and they have to have their discussion out in the open in the castle, not in the Turret. The three selected players will then be laid in a coffin, and the Traitors will nail one of them in, murdering them for good. Oh, and one of those names can even be a Traitor. “Alan Cumming is sick, twisted, and needs to be psychiatrically evaluated,” Bob says once these new rules have been divulged, but then adds, while cackling maniacally, “So should I!”

The four Traitors scramble desperately to find each other and then meet in a secret room behind a bookcase to discuss what three names should go on the list – Jeremy? Nikki? Ivar? Maybe even Carolyn? – all while trying to not get caught. As they throw out names, several of their fellow competitors wander into the room, unaware of what’s going on around them. As they make their way out of the room – is it a trick of editing or is it happening in real time? – Gabby Windey wanders in the room. Gabby, who along with Nikki and Chrishell Stause has formed a clique they’ve dubbed “The Bambis” because they are all doe-eyed and innocent, literally becomes a deer in headlights as the quartet of murderers make their next move.

How dare the Peacock overlords give us three episodes all at once but then leave us with this as a cliffhanger?? I may not be able to relax for the next week, but at least Tom can.

Liz Kocan is a pop culture writer living in Massachusetts. Her biggest claim to fame is the time she won on the game show Chain Reaction.