How to bring the ‘very demure’ craze to your work life

You may have heard the echoes of people repeating TikTok creator Jools Lebron’s viral video till the cows and curling irons come home.

“You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful,” began Lebron, describing her approach to her “respectful” look for a day at the office.

Since posting the video in early August, Chicago resident Lebron, who specializes in makeup and appearance tutorials, has elicited some 53 million views, and ignited a digital obsession with achieving such a reserved yet polished appearance.

“Being demure could actually benefit you at work,” conceded Avery Morgan, chief communications officer at EduBirdie, noting that the outlook includes a mindset promoting mindfulness, confidence and calm under pressure that echoes into your work life.

Ahead, career pros share how to be a confident career winner.

Send demure emails

Eliana Goldstein, a certified professional career coach and founder of Eliana Goldstein Coaching in NYC, says that being demure and mindful is all about having good etiquette and being mindful of others.

“At work, this would translate as being well organized and polite,” said Goldstein of this clear, concise and well-written approach to workplace correspondences. Here’s an example Goldstein shared of a demure email template:

Dear [Name], I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to gently follow up on [specific task or project]. If there’s anything you need from me to help move things along, please feel free to let me know. I’m here to support in any way I can. Thank you for your time and consideration. I appreciate your efforts. Warm regards, [Your Name].

Practice mindful listening

Morgan says being demure starts with listening more than speaking.

“In meetings or one-on-ones, silence your phone and turn off notifications to give your full attention. Focus on the speaker’s words, tone and body language without formulating a response too quickly,” she said.

When it’s your turn, pause for a moment to gather your thoughts, then offer a thoughtful reply. It’s about quality over speed in your communication. Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Instead, respond thoughtfully, showing you’ve processed the information,” elaborated Morgan.

Yes, this attitude applies to Zoom meetings, too. “We can all see when you’re multitasking — scrolling, reading emails or zoning out,” cautioned Christina Campoy, a career coach and founder of Chief Elevate Officer in New York City.

Instead, listening mindfully and staying fully present not only helps the meeting move faster, but also ensures you catch key details and contribute meaningfully.

Take your lunch break

“Scarfing a salad at your desk while you send emails is not very mindful or demure. Taking this time for yourself is important to nourish your body and refresh your mind,” says Campoy, adding that doing so isn’t a sign of weakness — it signals that you’re in control of your workload and understand the importance of balance.

“If you’re in the habit of working through lunch, start by taking just 10 minutes to focus on something that’s just for you. Small steps can make a big difference in breaking the cycle,” she added.

Stop saying sorry

“Constantly apologizing to your team members is not very mindful, not very demure,” said Campoy, who admits she is all for owning up to your mistakes when it’s warranted, but apologizing for minor issues devalues the effectiveness of a genuine apology when it’s really needed.

Campoy recommends swapping “sorry” for “thanks.” For example, instead of “sorry for the delay,” try “thanks for your patience.”

“See how I’m not constantly apologizing for things that aren’t really mistakes? By shifting from unnecessary apologies to expressions of gratitude, you’re fostering a more confident, thoughtful presence,” clarified Campoy. This subtle change promotes a culture of respect and mindfulness, where the focus is on appreciation rather than self-blame.

Focus, pause, recharge, repeat

Morgan employs this mantra to further display a demure presence at work.

“Keep your to-do list focused on what truly matters by prioritizing quality over quantity. This demure approach helps prevent overwhelm and ensures each task gets the attention it deserves,” she said. “After completing a task or finishing a call, take a break — whether it’s enjoying a coffee, stretching, or stepping outside for fresh air.”

Work smarter, not harder

When being “very demure, very mindful” in a professional capacity, Campoy stresses that you don’t need to volunteer for every little opportunity that comes your way.

“Overcommitting can lead to burnout and diminish the quality of your work. Instead, strive for fewer, higher-visibility projects that align with your strengths and career goals,” she said. “By working smarter, not harder, you’ll make a bigger impact with less effort, showing that intentional choices lead to more meaningful contributions.”

Avoid office drama

Besides, you know, keeping your sanity intact and fast-tracking your career success, avoiding office drama is good for those aiming to emulate your most demure self.

You’ll want to maintain a calm, neutral stance, said Morgan.

“Instead of engaging in gossip or conflicts, focus on positive interactions and constructive feedback. When drama arises, don’t take sides or get involved,” she said. “Simply listen, acknowledge the issue and redirect conversations toward solutions or work-related topics.”

If nothing else, make a vow to wait 15 minutes and take a deep breath before you get involved in heated office politics.

Don’t you feel more demure already?