Joe Biden signs with Hollywood agency – 15 movie ideas we’d like to see

Former President Joe Biden just signed with Hollywood powerhouse Creative Artists Agency to helm projects for movies and TV, which is remarkable, because most people aren’t convinced the ex-president can even work the remote on his widescreen, let alone act in motion pictures.  

Biden apparently figured that if former President Barack Obama and actress Meghan Markle can create successful programming and reap nine-figure paydays, he could do likewise.  

Reports that a compliant Directors Guild of America and Sundance and Cannes film festivals have already nominated Dr. Jill Biden for Best Director Of Anything Ever appear to be exaggerated. 

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News reports say that no titles have been announced, so I thought I’d helpfully offer 15 ideas (in reverse marketable order) that the ex-president can bring up at pitch meetings, as long as he can stay awake long enough. So here goes:  

15. “Weekend at Biden’s” – A high-energy comedy about a presidential spouse dragging what’s left of her husband through meetings with world leaders, Super Bowl winners and other alarmed White House visitors. 

14. “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and Won’t Leave” – a powerful drama about a vice president who comes to a presidential dinner, sneaks upstairs to the Lincoln Bedroom, and locks herself in until the following Inauguration Day.  

13. “Dude, Where’s My Country?” – A rollicking comedy about a president who accidentally misplaces his entire nation and travels the world, Anthony Bourdain-style, looking for it. 

12. “What’s My Line?” – A remake of the classic game show, but with a new twist. Four elegantly attired panelists try to remind the former president of the United States of what he actually did for a living. 

11. “Clueless Joe” – The story of a man who would rather smell the hair of women visitors to the White House than actually do anything policy-related. 

10. “Biden My Time” – A drama about an ex-president who figures that if Presidents Grover Cleveland and Donald Trump can have non-consecutive terms, why can’t he? How he plans to wait out the next four years and run for president again, at age 86, and reclaim what was rightfully his. 

9. “Last Amtrak to Dover” – A president bids farewell to his nation but surprises everyone by demanding that his helicopter land at Washington D.C.’s Union Station, so he can take his beloved Amtrak to Delaware one last time, and the story of the merry villagers on the train who are delayed for nine hours by security. 

8. “From Here to Obscurity” – a medical crime drama about a former President whose favorite downtown chain drug store closes due to organized shoplifting, and his one-man battle to reopen the store and save the jobs of four shelf stockers and 26 pharmacists. 

Hunter Biden could have a Hollywood future if he follows his dad to the Left Coast. FILE: Hunter Biden, son of former President Joe Biden, speaks to members of the media outside the Capitol in Washington, DC, on Wednesday, Dec. 13, 2023. (Tierney L. Cross/Bloomberg via Getty Images)

7. “Mr. Biden Goes to Hollywood” – The story of an individual with no acting ability, average looks, a total inability to remember his lines, and a Q rating below sea level, who takes the movie industry by storm, whether they like it or not. 

6. “Orange Is the New Orange” – A fantasy in which the former president imagines his predecessor and successor (the same person) going to prison for a series of invented crimes and misdemeanors, followed by the world insisting on Biden receiving a second term in the White House. 

5. “All the President’s Mensheviks” – The shockingly implausible story of an American president held hostage by a group of far leftists who take over the government and turn the country into a borderless socialist state – oh, wait, that actually happened. Never mind. 

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4. “My Left Michael Foot” – A nostalgic look at how then-presidential candidate Joe Biden plagiarized the speeches of U.K. leftist politician Michael Foot, how that echoed charges of plagiarism while a student at Harvard Law School, and how it happened yet again in the run-up to the 2020 presidential campaign, and the endearing story of how the mainstream media couldn’t have cared less. 

Reports that a compliant Directors Guild of America and Sundance and Cannes film festivals have already nominated Dr. Jill Biden for Best Director Of Anything Ever appear to be exaggerated. 

3. “The Obama Drama” – The poignant story of a former president who favored his secretary of State over his vice president to run for president in 2016, and Biden’s secret joy and thirst for revenge when she lost to the Donald. 

2. “I Fell But I Got Back Up” – How a president used an obedient media to convince voters that the self-described “gaffe machine” who fell asleep at climate change events, fell onstage at a military graduation and called out for a congresswoman who sadly had perished in a car crash, was still a viable candidate for a second term. 

1. “Pardon Me, Dad” – the touching story of a recovering drug addict , tax-cheating felon begging his father to keep him out of prison. 

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Former President Joe Biden has left the White House for … Hollywood and he’s looking for ways to bring in the cash. FILE: Outgoing President Biden and First Lady Jill Biden greet President-elect Donald Trump and Melania Trump as they arrive at the White House in Washington, DC, on January 20, 2025. (Jim Watson / AFP via Getty Images)

Actually, Mr. President, here’s what Hollywood is likely to say once they really think through whether America wants to hear from you again:   

Don’t call us. We’ll call you. 

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