‘Real Housewives Of Potomac’ Star Mia Thornton Says It’s More Important To Her Boyfriend That She Get A Paternity Test For Her Son: “I Know Who My Baby’s Father Is”

It’s been a wild ride for Mia Thornton, who ended The Real Housewives of Potomac Season 8 on a dramatic note. Now back for Season 9, Mia is navigating her ongoing divorce from Gordon Thornton — as well as her new relationship with boyfriend Incognito (a.k.a. Inc).

During the Season 8 reunion, Mia revealed that there was some overlap between Gordon and Inc around the time she got pregnant with her son Jeremiah. While Jeremiah had always been raised as Gordon’s son, Mia revealed in the Season 9 premiere that Inc wanted to get a paternity test just to be sure. Speaking with DECIDER ahead of tonight’s new episode, the reality star said it’s “not as important” to her as it is to her boyfriend to get the paternity test since she “knows who [her] baby’s father is.”

“But I also do think that it’s important that we don’t negate the fact that men, if they feel like there’s a possibility, we as women owe it to allowing people to know the facts,” she said, before adding, “I’m not one to hide away from the facts and hide away from what can potentially be true.”

Despite the drama, Mia told us that things are “going well” in her new family dynamic. While Gordon still lives in the same building as her, he no longer has access to her floor, which allows the opportunity to set healthier boundaries.

“I think that it’s still good for the kids because they don’t have to spend a week at Mom’s and then spend a week at Dad’s. They can go to Mom’s and Dad’s in the same day,” Mia said. “And so we’re able to co-parent them effectively and we’re just here for them and they’re happy. And as long as they’re happy, then there’s nothing that needs to be changed.”

We sat down with Mia to talk all things Real Housewives of Potomac, from Karen Huger‘s DUI to how she feels about Ashley Darby saying she has the most to answer for at the reunion. Check out the full interview below.

DECIDER: Mia, you’re inching closer and closer to that center champagne glass in the opening credits! How do you feel entering your fourth season? 

MIA THORNTON: It’s been amazing. I feel like I have been here all along and I’m having fun and I’m just being my authentic self. So it feels good. I got one more slot to move on up.

Obviously, this season is a little different without Robyn Dixon and Candiace Dillard Bassett. Do you miss them? Do you hope they come back in the future? 

Yeah, I do miss them. I miss just having my girls around. I feel like we built a sisterhood and they are no longer invited to the party. I don’t even know how to, like, keep them in the loop of things because I don’t want them to feel like they’re being left out. You know how, like, when you’re no longer the cool girl, it’s like, “OK, yeah, well, I’m not going to tell you what’s going on with us.” But I do miss them. But I am also really proud that Candiace is deciding to stay home and she’s having her baby. And Robyn has a real job now, so she’s a little busy. 

In the season premiere, you said you wanted to get a paternity test for your son. Is that important to you as well as Inc? How will that play out this season? 

It’s not as important to me, right? Because I know who my baby’s father is – like, hello, everybody does know, I hope you do. But I also do think that it’s important that we don’t negate the fact that men, if they feel like there’s a possibility, we as women owe it to allowing people to know the facts. I’m not one to hide away from the facts and hide away from what can potentially be true. And while we’re not always proud of our decisions that we make in life, I feel like you can always just make it right by learning, using technology and science. How is it going to play out? It’s going to play out exactly how it’s playing out right now. Jeremiah is an amazing child and he has a phenomenal father. And, you know, we’re going to keep it that way.

It’s so nice to see how happy you are in your relationship. How does it feel to be out in the open with Inc? Did you ever think you would end up with him again?

That’s a loaded question! It does feel nice to be able to live out loud and to be authentically who I am and to love who you want to love. That’s the beauty about life and the gift that we have. We have the freedom to love what we want to love. And I think it’s beautiful that he’s also committed to being as transparent with everyone as I am, because that’s hard to come by. I do have a lot of friends who aren’t allowed to – their partners don’t care enough. No shade. But I do feel like with that comes adversity, comes scrutiny. And I’m okay with it because I’m happy and that’s all that matters.

You and Gordon have both been very open about your issues on social media. Is it important to get your truth out there rather than stay quiet like you’ve done for years to protect Gordon? 

I love to tell my story and I love to be authentically Mia. And I feel like I’m not going to change that about me. That just makes me who I am. And I think I’ve told people before, once I decided to do reality TV, I do reality TV. None of this is scripted. This is my real life and how things evolve and we grow. As I’m moving into my next chapter of life, which is the big 4-0, I’m no longer hiding behind anybody else’s shadows. This is my life and it is what it is. We can’t change the past, but we can dictate our future. 

Where do you and your ex stand now? Not only do you live in the same building as Gordon, but you and Inc have even vacationed with him, so how is that going?

Things are going well. Gordon is still two floors away, and it actually works out really well. He doesn’t have access to my floor any longer, so he can’t just knock on the door. He actually has to get buzzed up, which is great. It’s a great boundary. We’re going to start there. It does help. And when we exchange the children, we meet in the lobby or we do things like that, and I think that it’s still good for the kids because they don’t have to spend a week at Mom’s and then spend a week at Dad’s. They can go to Mom’s and Dad’s in the same day. And so we’re able to co-parent them effectively and we’re just here for them and they’re happy. And as long as they’re happy, then there’s nothing that needs to be changed.

And that’s very admirable! A lot of people could take a page out of that playbook.

Thank you. It’s more common than what we think. There are other separated or divorced families that live in the city near us and they do the same thing. It’s not just my wild, crazy life. This is a thing! People want to choose their children. Why is it abnormal to have healthy co-parenting? We have to ask ourselves that. So I wanted to stay in a space of peace and doing what’s best for everybody. Gordon deserves to be happy. He deserves to move on with his life, as do I. And that doesn’t mean that we don’t put our children first. They do come first, and if we have to be a little uncomfortable for that, so be it. 

It was tough to watch you so hurt after Gizelle and Karen questioned whether or not you’ve protected your children. How long did it take you to forgive them? How were you able to move forward? 

That was really hard because that is something that I do hold dear to my heart. I tell people all the time, like, that’s the crown that I wear very proudly and I don’t ever want it to tip. Don’t ever question it. Being Mamma Mia is who I am. And I just know that that’s something that I’ve been blessed to be able to be a good mother. I feel like, who are we to say that we’re not doing what we want to do what’s best for our children? I’ve never questioned Gizelle. I never question her actions and all of the many men that she has dated and brought into her home. Never did that. That’s your life. These are your children. Who am I to tell you how to parent your child? So it does hurt to know that they would say that. That’s a really harsh thing to say, especially [because] I’ve known you guys for how long now? But I bounce back after that because I know the truth. I’m not going to allow you to affect or change or sway or make me think any differently. Because when I look at my babies, my babies are happy and they are so bright, they’re well-behaved. I’m very fortunate and I did get really lucky. God has blessed me with amazing children. They’re so amazing.

You said you were disappointed in Karen for not owning up to her DUI. Since filming, do you think she has taken more accountability? 

Oh, my gosh. Do you think she’s taken accountability? [Laughs]. I don’t understand why she won’t just say, like, “I made a poor decision and it’s okay because I’m going to learn from it and it’s not going to happen again.” Just move on from it. Like, why are we still talking about it? But it’s the lack of accountability that really is hard for me to defend or to support, which is why you’re getting the version of Mia that you guys see on the TV screen. You’re not going to deflect. We’re going to hold you accountable. That’s what real friends do.

The other women seem to think Jacqueline is your sidekick. Do you agree with that assessment? Or is that unfair given your close bond that goes back to your childhood? 

Oh, my gosh. I think that when it comes to Jacqueline, we have been friends for so long. Our friendship goes back so far. It’s so deeply rooted. We have gone through a lot. You have seen some of it. She’s not a sidekick. She loves very hard and she’s being a really good friend. And I think because we don’t get an opportunity to really dive into her world and who she is individually outside of Mia, we immediately just place her with me. Because that’s all we know. But she’s an interesting character and we love her for it. And I just think that she’s just loving on her best friend. And I don’t see anything wrong with that.

The episode ends on a cliffhanger when you reveal that Karen accidentally butt-dialed you when she may or may not have been with someone who was not her husband. What else can you tell us about that call?

That it’s a fact. She did butt-dial. When we left that night, she did say she was going home to Ray. And when she butt-dialed, she said, “Those girls from the show think I’m with Ray.” So which one is it? Who are you with, Karen? Tune in.

Ashley Darby recently said you’re going to have the most to answer for at the reunion. What’s your response to that?

I actually want to know what she wants to know. I answer all questions. Bring them on. What is it? I don’t have to answer to anybody but myself. So I just feel like my life has definitely been intricately odd and I’m doing the best that I can. Going through a divorce is not easy at all. I’m just being honest with my divorce. She’s doing the same thing but I don’t think that she’s telling you guys everything. That’s my response.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

The Real Housewives of Potomac airs on Sunday nights at 9/8c on Bravo. New episodes are available to stream on Peacock the next day.