From roasted Tom Brady to the KHive: 2024’s winners and losers
This year came in like a drunk on a weeklong bender — and left like a glue-sniffing drunk on a yearlong bender. In other words, what the hell just happened in 2024?
A Kennedy joined forces with a Republican. The Dems switched candidates four months before the election. MAGA ruled MSG, and the far left’s heartthrob is a rich white kid who assassinated a CEO in Midtown Manhattan. Joe Rogan became a presidential kingmaker while Donald Trump worked a shift at McDonald’s.
It was tumultous and unpredictable.
At least there’s Taylor Swift to bring us some consistency: She’s still getting richer, ruling the NFL discourse and influencing grown men to wear friendship bracelets.
But in the shifting landscape, a semblance of sanity returned. Cancel culture, DEI, trans lunacy and group think receded — while free speech thrived.
Politics and pop culture became almost indistinguishable from each other. Kamala Harris’ “brat” status and Trump’s stilted “YMCA” dance overtook everything (the latter was even the preferred celebration of athletes).
But only one side was victorious.
The pantsuit is now 0 and 2 in presidential elections after the drubbing that Kamala Harris took in November. (My prediction: The first female president will be a Republican in a skirt.)
Harris was never up to snuff, despite what the Dems and the media in the KHive tried to sell us. Speaking of duds, the Democrat establishment was exposed as covering up Joe Biden’s cognitive decline while assuring us he was completing daily Iron Mans. Party leaders like Barack Obama lost influence and likability after peddling fascist fear porn and berating black men for supporting Trump over Harris.
Can’t keep a good Trump down, or out of the White House. He was indicted four times and convicted by a Manhattan jury in the Stormy Daniels hush money case — and still emerged stronger and bigger in 2024. He built a new working-class coalition, tapped into the dissatisfaction with Biden’s policies and, with the help of Elon Musk, led a great political realignment.
Trump’s victory meant brutal defeat for Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, who managed a conviction of the soon-to-be 47th President only to see it stuck in limbo. As are Bragg’s fortunes after subway Samaritan Daniel Penny was, thankfully, acquitted earlier this month.
It felt like bros ruled politics in 2024 — but the ladies got it done in sports.
Indiana Fever star Caitlin Clark dazzled — winning Rookie of the Year, making the playoffs and boosting WNBA attendance by whopping figures.
As a result, the league is winning bigly, even if folks like Washington Mystics co-owner Sheila Johnson are loath to give Clark credit.
At the Paris Olympics, Simone Biles made a triumphant comeback and Katie Ledecky became the first female swimmer to win gold at four different games.
Meanwhile, Aussie competitor Raygun, with her intersectional approach to her “sport,” broke breakdancing — and our tolerance for nonsense.
Gloves-off comedy roared in 2024. Netflix’s outrageous “The Roast of Tom Brady,” which saw the one-time golden boy take stronger hits than he did in 23 NFL seasons, slaughtered every sacred cow. It also launched Tony Hinchcliffe and Nikki Glaser into another stratosphere.
Shane Gillis became comedy’s Lazarus, hosting “Saturday Night Live” five years after getting canned from the show. He’s also reviving Bud Lite in its post Dylan Mulvaney era.
Unfortunately, the phrase “freak off” is now in our vernacular thanks to hip-hop’s all-powerful Sean “Diddy” Combs, whose spectacular downfall is due to his alleged sexual proclivities.
Good old sex appeal reigned. After a years-long apology tour for, um, selling lingerie, Victoria’s Secret once again staged a fashion show with scantily clad Angels. “SNL” host Sydney Sweeney’s boobs caused a cultural eruption and proved that a nice set of girls are back. And Jeremy Allen White stripped to his Calvins for billboards, harkening to the golden era of undies ads with Marky Mark Wahlberg.
Haliey Welch, otherwise known as “Hawk Tuah girl,” was on her way to total domination. The 21-year-old factory worker rose to international prominence the old-fashioned way: by drunkenly making a fellatio joke. She launched a podcast — then attached her name to a meme coin that tanked and led to accusations of a scam. She went into hiding and now says she’s cooperating with lawyers.
Welch remains a cautionary tale about instant viral fame.
Last year, Spotify parted with “f–king gifters” Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. This year, they delivered another bomb with “Polo” — leaving their $100 million Netlfix deal looking more precarious.
Hunter Biden scored big with a pardon, but the sun has set on the Biden family’s decades-long power grip. Hey, at least Jill Biden can still call herself “Dr.”
Going into 2025, there remains a sense of optimism that we’re headed in the right direction. Now if we can only figure out what’s going on with drones causing sky gridlock over Jersey.
