Greg Gutfeld: Trump’s triggering leaders like a quarter pounder at a PETA rally

GREG GUTFELD: So, how about that rocket launch yesterday? Elon Musk and President Trump? Watch the Starship take off from a city called Boca Chica, which is Spanish for small mouth. But while the incoming president celebrated the rocket taking off to cheering crowds, the outgoing president took off as well to a different kind of clamor.

You know, usually when people scream at Joe like that, they say, ‘Sir, that’s a houseplant, not a toilet.’ But why was he in such a hurry? Maybe he really had to go – literally. 

And so it’s a tale of two takeoffs. One is a ride to space. Another, a ride to the rest home. But Trump isn’t traveling alone. The world seems to be along for the ride. It’s funny – just a few weeks ago, Trump was a threat to world peace when the only threat we really faced was Joe Biden mistaking our children for dinner. But now foreign leaders are suddenly making nice. 

Australia’s ambassador to America had previously called Trump the most destructive president in history – but now he’s congratulating him and looking forward to working closely with him. No wonder the Aussies invented the boomerang, up in Canada. Their first trans prime minister, Justin Trudeau, suddenly cracked down on unchecked immigration. He was talking tough there for a while – until somebody showed him this picture. 

Down in Mexico, lefty President Claudia Sheinbaum wouldn’t even acknowledge Trump’s candidacy on Election Day. Sheinbaum, Mexico has a Jewish president. Maybe she’ll agree to Trump building a Wailing Wall. You know that joke doesn’t deserve you. 

Then Trump said he would make public the intelligence that America had on Mexican politicians – in bed with cartels. Suddenly, Sheinbaum is cracking down on her own border – but soon Claudia might be welcoming 10 million people who should look familiar. Get ready for an influx of gangs, drug dealers and even worse, washed-up celebs.

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Trump’s triggering lefty foreign leaders like a quarter-pounder at a PETA rally. But is it all on Trump, as he himself has said? They haven’t been after him. They’ve been after you, and he’s just in the way. And the truth is, it’s you who’s had enough. It just took Trump to make it clear the world gets it. 

Daddy’s home and it’s time to clean up your mess. And you can’t hide behind a legacy media – which is deader than the battery in Rosie O’Donnell’s back trimmer. But really, the world wants this. The world wants this. 

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They just needed someone to rip the Band-Aid off. It wasn’t going to be Joe or Kamala. Joe lacks the upper body strength, and Kamala doesn’t have enough accents to please the whole world. But everyone knew the planet was screwed. Hell, even the bad guys are now picking up their toys and crawling back under their rocks. Qatar has just confirmed that Hamas leaders are no longer there.

For things to operate in the world, someone has to stand up once in a while and say, ‘wrap it up, guys, this is enough.’ That guy is Trump. But he’s got all of us, too. No wonder the world’s scared. It might be the one thing they’ve ever gotten right.