John Lithgow says he’s comfortable with dying after friend’s death
We only get so long on the third rock from the sun.
John Lithgow has a new outlook on death following the passing of his close friend.
The “Conclave” actor, 79, who has survived three bouts of cancer, said recently that he became more comfortable with his eventual demise after his friend and colleague Doug McGrath died.
“I directed that wonderful New Yorker, Doug McGrath, in his one-man show that he’d written for himself. And he didn’t show up at the theater one night because, in his office by himself at about four in the afternoon, he’d lain down, had a heart attack and died at age 64,” Lithgow revealed on the Dec. 5 episode of Rachel Martin’s podcast “Wild Card.”
“It was such a traumatic thing to experience. He died painlessly and almost courteously. He didn’t make anybody else suffer over his death except over the fact that it had happened like that,” the Emmy-winner added.
When host Martin asked whether McGrath’s death changed anything for Lithgow, the actor responded, “I was startled at how soon I was able to absorb it. It’s just having happened and the new reality. This lovely man, who was quite a dear friend having worked together so closely, he was simply gone, and I knew that he was gone.”
Martin then followed up, putting it to Lithgow, “Did it make you any more or less comfortable with your own demise?”
“More,” the star replied. “I just know it’s coming. It’s coming, and I think the best thing is to have a gracious ending.”
Lithgow also shared that he thinks of how he wants to leave his life as being similar to how he leaves roles he has played.
“I calculate my exit from any film or television or stage play, and I always wanna have a good ending. Well, I wanna have a good ending to my life, too — that no one grieves over, and is appropriate,” he said.
Speaking for scores of Lithgow’s fans, Martin told the “Third Rock from the Sun” actor, “Well, people will grieve.”
“I can’t believe I’m talking about these things,” Lithgow then said with a laugh.
“I’ve had three cancers in my life. First in 1988, 2004, and then only a couple of years ago. In every case, dealt with immediately and put an end to — you know, melanomas that could be removed, detected early and removed. A prostatectomy that eliminated prostate cancer from my life.”
“But I’m almost glad that I had the shocking experience of being told you have a malignancy,” he continued.
Those near-death experiences also made Lithgow contemplate, “Oh my God, this might really — I might die of this.”
“I think it was a useful experience to have,” he explained, “in terms of just putting your whole life into perspective.”