My brother banned my toddler from his wedding — so I’m boycotting his big day

A woman has taken to Reddit after a disagreement with her brother over attending his child-free wedding.

The woman and her husband have a two-year-old, who she said is exceptionally well-behaved, and who she would like to attend the wedding with.

However, her brother declined – and now she doesn’t want to come to the wedding at all.

‘I’m stuck in a no-win situation’

“My brother is getting married in two months, and he recently informed me that his wedding will be ‘no kids allowed’. I totally understand that not everyone wants children at their wedding, and I have no issue with that concept in general. The problem is that my husband and I have a two-year-old daughter,” she said in the post.

“When I asked him if he could make an exception for her—since it’s not like she’s a group of unruly children, just one well-behaved toddler—he said no. He explained that they want an ‘elegant, adult-only’ event, and having even one child there might make other family members feel like they can bring their kids, too.”

The woman then explained that if her daughter wasn’t able to come to the wedding, she wouldn’t be able to either.

“I said that while I respect their choice, it would be really difficult for me to find reliable childcare for that day. My husband and I don’t have family nearby who could watch her, and hiring someone to care for her for an entire day (plus the overnight stay required because the venue is out of town) is costly and a bit scary—especially since our daughter has never been with a babysitter before,” she said.

“When I told my brother I likely wouldn’t be able to attend under those conditions, he got upset. He said I was being selfish and putting my child above the family, and that this is his big day. My parents are now chiming in, saying I should just ‘figure it out’ because it’s his wedding, and I’m the only sibling who’s not showing support.

“I don’t want to ruin his day, but I also feel uncomfortable leaving my toddler with a stranger in an unfamiliar city. I feel like I’m stuck in a no-win situation, and my brother seems to think I’m a monster for not simply ‘dealing with it’.”

‘Child first, wedding second’

Many commenters on the post sympathized with the woman, saying she has every right to opt to stay home with her child over attending a wedding where she’s not accepted.

“You ARE putting your child above the family lol that’s your child. That’s what you’re supposed to do. He can go break some drywall because it was his decision in the first place,” said one commenter.

“Child first, wedding second,” another agreed.

‘Enjoy the extra time you’ll have with your kid instead,” said a third.

“Have your husband stay home’

However, even more said the woman was being unreasonable in asking her brother to accommodate her daughter, and even more so by suggesting she wouldn’t attend otherwise.

Many suggested her daughter stay home with her husband, so at the very least, she is able to attend on her own.

“Why can’t your husband stay home then and be with your daughter?” said one commenter.

“Gee I don’t know maybe your husband can stay and be a parent too. This isn’t rocket science here. You can actually spend one night away from your kid to attend a wedding it’s not a big deal,” another agreed.

“Your husband can stay with your kid, he’s not a stranger, he’s her parent and you can attend your brother’s wedding. Problem solved,” a third agreed.

Some even suggested alternative solutions to the issue.

“Your husband stays home, you go,” one comment began.

“You and your husband rent a hotel room and switch off.

“You and other family members with kids rent a room and in the facility (this works in hotels) and ask the hotel for help in finding a babysitter. You and the other parents switch off spending time in the room with multiple kids and the babysitter. It means you all miss about 30 minutes of the wedding instead of the whole thing.

“You find a local (to you) friend/neighbor that you trust, rent a second hotel room, and leave your child with them.

“If I were your brother I’d call bullshit on your efforts too!”